how asian am i? apparently about 75%

HOW ASIAN ARE YOU! Survey:
Bold what applies

1. Your mother has short-hair, curly perm or dyed. All at one point in time or another
2. Your dad is some sort of engineer.
3. Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 13+.
4. You ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're still lecturing.
5. You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry.
6. You shop at 99 ranch.
7. Everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia your ancestors were from.
8. You've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life.
9. Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids
10. You've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest, or library.
11. Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."
12. You or your parents drive mostly Japanese cars.
13. You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
14. You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs.
15. At least once, you've started a joke with "Confucius say...."
16. You know what bok choy is.
17. You've gotten little red envelopes around February.
18. Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back, and closet doors.
19. You hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah!) every time someone calls you (e.g. Joy - ee - yah! or Joy - yah!).
20. You have no eyelashes.
21. Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages, like the ever-so-popular: ching chong woo bok chi, etc
22. Your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin.
23. The Bio lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, and octopi) were last night's dinner.
24. Your ancestors 1000 generations back invented the back scratcher.
26. Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "In philipines (or other native country), we studied even more."
27. Your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian.
28. An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother?" Well then, "Is it your sister?"
29. Your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both.
30. Your parents say, "Calculus? I took Calculus in 8th grade!"
31. Everyone thinks you're good at math.
32. Your parents' vocabulary is filled with "ai-yahs, and Wah's."
33. You like $1.75 movies.
34. You like $1.50 movies even more
35. Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks, and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange, and the ever popular lime green
36. Your parents insist you marry within your race.
37. You never order chop suey, sweet and sour pork, or any other imitation of oriental food.
38. You either really, really want to go to UC or really, really wants to stay away from it.
39. Your parents have never kissed you.
40. Your parents have never kissed each other.
41. You learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your parents.
42. "You want a stereo?! When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"
43. People see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick and ask you to translate.
44. You have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle."
45. You have 12+ aunts and uncles.
46. At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.
47. Your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat anyway. It's still good."
48. The vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses.
49. You will most likely be taller than your parents.
50. Your parents have either made you play the piano, the violin, or both.
51. You get nothing if you do well in school, but crapped on if you don't.
52. When going to other people's houses, you always have to bring a gift.
53. Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top.
54. Your family owns a tennis racquet, golf clubs, or both.
55. Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV.
56. The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations, or any of the rest of the furniture.
57.You have rocks, sticks, leaves, and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine.
58. You own a rice cooker or two.
59. You buy soy sauce by the gallon.
60. Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
61. Your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going.
62. Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come.
63. Your parents believe in feng shui.
64. Your parents are very conservative and think that tank tops/halters/spaghetti straps shows too much skin.
65. Every time your parents lecture you, they always make up excuses that relate to everything you've done in the past.
66. You eat rice everyday.
67. You like JIN.
68. When you were little. Your parents beat you with sticks and stuff.
69. They always fight for the bill when you go out for dinner.
70. You miss a question on a test and confess. Your parents ask, "What happened?"
71. One way or another you got a 'B' on an assignment. You're honest and show it to your parents. They fall short of threatening bodily harm/death and disowning you.
72. American New Year's. You're dragged off to church to pray for two hours, then the parents play some kind of game with wooden pieces with Asian characters on them, while the children are left to their own devices... Then you eat some kind of soup that has an entire meal submerged in boiled water. Then pray some more.
72. Church is good. If you lose interest and stop going, your mother 'worries' about you and your soul.
73. You or your parents open the door for a friend or someone you know. From habit and rehearsal you always say: "Come in. Are you thirsty? Hungry? Off the carpet! TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES! May I get you something?" Before they are even in the door way.
74. Relatives overseas call between 2 and 5 in the morning, your time.
75. Relatives overseas ship you a few pounds of fresh red chili pepper.
76. For your birthday, you receive a package with red chili pepper, gaudy/jeweled/beady hair clips that YOU would not choose to wear, something made in China (even if you are Korean, Japanese, et cetera), and a little blank note card with a message on rice paper inside.
77. You wear house shoes.
76. Your mother nearly has an epileptic seizure when you open an umbrella in the house because something 'bad' may happen.
77. Asian people you know are superstitious, in general.
78. Whenever you go to an American friend's house you ask if you should take off your shoes.
79. You buy in bulk.
80. You or a family member are a member of Costco, Sam's Club, Price Club, or any other place that sells in bulk.
81. You or any member in your family are not a member of Sam's Club, Price Club, or any other place that sells in bulk but you have a card from a friend so as not to pay the $45 fee, plus you can get away with it because the photo is of an Asain...
82. Your tips for Asian waiters and waitresses is larger than for any other person of a different race.
83. You buy brand name clothes off the clearence rack at department stores.
84. Your mother firmly believes that VHS is better than DVD.
85. Your parents talk on the phone in a differnt room so that you can study, but they only get louder.
86. Your parents don't understand why you need to have a social life when you can be studying.
87. Only Asians can come near your head with scissors and a comb.
88. Your the only one in the house who actually knows how to use the computer.
89. You have a keyboard with Korean/Japanese/Chinese/et cetera syllables.
90. You usually watch Asian soap operas.
91. You count down the days until you graduate so you can run away to a different state.
92. Your parents pull out a heavy blanket for you, instead of turning on the heater during the winter.
93. Not allowed to date because you're 'too young' and you need to focus on your studies.
94. If you are allowed to date, mother insists on being the chaperone, getting to know him, and insists on feeding him every time he comes over.
95. You know where all the Asian markets and stores are within a 100 mile radius and also happen to be 'related' to one or more of the owners.
96. There is no such thing as privacy in your own room.
97. You get yelled at in the native tongue when you start to argue back.
98. You get yelled at in the native tongue and practically disowned when you start to argue back using a complicated vocabulary.
99. You have to clean the house at the very least, once a week, or else you live in a pig's sty.
100. Most of the clothes that your mother owns or buys for you are brand names like: Tommy Hilfiger, Polo, and Ralph Lauren